True Confessions of a Medic
by Red Witch
Summary: Low Light discovers Lifeline has a secret. Will it destroy their tenuous friendship? Yes I know this is a darker fic than I normally write, please put down the flamethrowers.Rating's just to be safe.


**Disclaimer: I don't own G. I. Joe. This is a very different fic than you're used to seeing from me. I've had this idea for a very long time and I'm finally going to put it to use. I also wanted to do a piece focusing on the unlikely friendship between two of my favorite characters. No it's not slash (Dirty minds!) Some of this will pop up in a later crossover I'm working on. But mostly this is just to get it out of my head. If I get enough reviews I might do more with this.**

**True Confessions of a Medic**

The jungle night was unnaturally still. "They're out there," Low Light whispered to his teammates. "I can smell 'em."

Roadblock nodded. He looked at his unit. In addition to Low Light were Recondo, Dial Tone, Sci-Fi, Leatherneck, Stalker and Wet Suit. Their objective was simple: Track down a lone COBRA outpost hidden in the jungles of South America and destroy it. They spread out. Suddenly a burst of gunfire exploded. They raced out so that they would not be surrounded. 

The fighting grew intense. Low Light saw an opening. He did not hear Roadblock's warning. The next thing he knew he was surrounded on all sides by gunfire. He ducked under a rotting log. Low Light cursed himself as he realized he was cut off. The others were so busy fighting the other Cobra goons they could not help him. He was able to count them. Four of them were hiding in the brush. He took a deep breath and jumped out rolling and firing as he moved. One, two, three soldiers fell before him. He might make it after all.

Then it happened. A scream of agony cut through the jungle as Low Light felt a fire inside his belly. He downed the last Cobra and looked down and saw blood seeping out of his stomach. "Oh God…" Were his last words before he fell down into the dirt.

Low Light passed out into darkness. But even darkness could not stop the agony. It kept building and building in what seemed like an eternity. In his final moments a single thought ran through his mind. _I'm dead…I'm dead…_

He didn't care anymore. The fear of dying had been replaced by the desire to end his agony. He thought he would feel nothing by now, but still the pain continued. He had thought nothingness would replace it, but it was getting worse. In fact, he felt like his entire gut was exploding inside.

He opened his mouth to scream, but no sound came out. He felt something damp and scratchy in his mouth. Someone had stuffed a rag between his teeth. His eyes snapped open, unable to focus mostly because of the tears streaming out of them. He tried to move but something; no someone was restraining him.

"It's going to be okay. Low Light just hang on!"

He knew that voice. Lifeline. It was Lifeline. The medic held him tightly, restraining him. _He's trying to save me. He can't! I'm dead! I'm dead! You can't save a dead man!_ He tried to remove himself from Lifeline's grip, but he couldn't. Either Lifeline was stronger than he looked, or Low Light had simply lost too much blood. 

_This is ridiculous! He can't save me!_ In his delirium he felt a strange feeling of cold air against his bare skin. He realized that Lifeline had stripped him of his uniform. He couldn't stop pondering the insane situation. Here he was dying; covered in his own blood wearing nothing but his boxer shorts and crying like an infant. All Lifeline was doing was holding him and keeping a gag in his mouth while incredible pain surged through his body. 

_What the hell are you doing?_ Low Light wanted to scream but couldn't. _If you are gonna let me die at least take the dammed gag off of me! You're not even doing anything! Let me up! _

Slowly Low Light realized that something was happening to him. The pain was gradually being replaced by another feeling. It was like a burning fire had covered his body. Was it his imagination or was Lifeline…glowing? His eyes glanced at his wound. Lifeline's glowing hand was covered in blood, his blood. And the gash in his stomach was shrinking. Growing smaller and smaller. He watched in utter dumbness as the wound closed up. He felt stronger somehow. He was still in pain, but nothing like the agony he felt before. 

He felt exhausted. His eyes grew heavy. He still couldn't stop crying. All his strength quickly faded out of his limbs. He felt himself being gently rocked, like a small child. "Shhh…" Lifeline comforted him, stroking his hair with his cleaner hand. His voice was soft and soothing, like a father comforting a small child. "Now get some sleep. You'll be all right. It's just a dream. Just a dream. It never happened. It never happened."

Low Light closed his eyes. He felt like his mind was in a fog. Somehow the memory of the pain was dimmed. He felt weak. **_Just accept it_** Lifeline's voice filled his head. **_It never happened. _**

_Dammit it did happen! _Low Light wanted to scream out. _You know it did! What are you trying to do to me? _He fought the desire to sink into oblivion. It would be so easy to do so. So easy to forget the pain and hurt. So simple. Why remember such awful things? He'd had more than his share of suffering in his young life already. What was the good of burdening himself with more? His body cried out for him to simply accept it, it would be so simple, so easy to forget.

But Low Light never did anything the easy way. He tried to will away the fog enshrouding his mind. He was too angry and hurt and humiliated to allow himself to forget. He was dreaming now. Dreaming that he was pushing back a fog barrier. Even though somehow he willed the fog back it crept closer, slipping through the cracks of his defenses.

**_Forget…Sleep…Forget…_**

_Forget you! _His mind screamed.

**_You will not remember._**

The Hell I won't!

**_Sleep…_**The fog encircled his body.

"NO!" Low Light shot up out of the bed, screaming. 

"Hey look who's up!" Sci Fi smiled. "Hey easy buddy. It's okay!"

"What…where…?" Low Light looked around. He saw several Joes looking at him. He was in a hospital bed. "What happened?"

"You fell and hit your fool head that's what happened!" Roadblock laughed. 

"Even when they're dead those snakes are tricky," Leatherneck chuckled. "You tripped over one. Good thing Lifeline followed you before you got cut off and dragged your unconscious carcass outta that swamp!" 

"That's what happened?" Low Light flinched. So it was all a dream. 

"It was really nothing," Lifeline shrugged. 

"My head," Low Light groaned and touched it. It was bandaged.

"Don't touch it!" Lifeline shouted moving his hand away.

But not fast enough. Low Light realized that there was nothing wrong with his head. The bandage was just for show. But why? What could be the reason? A flash of memory hit him. "Where's my uniform?"

"How do you like this guy?" Leatherneck joked. "He still wants to fight."

"Just rest for now Low Light," Lifeline restrained him. "Take a couple of days rest. That's best for you now."

"See ya around," Roadblock said. They all left except for Lifeline. "I got your uniform," He indicated the clothing on a chair. "But I'd like you to rest. Okay?"

"I'll be fine," Low Light replied gruffly getting up. 

"Suit yourself," Lifeline shrugged. He left the room to give Low Light his privacy. He got dressed. _No holes. Maybe it was just a dream. Or was it?_

Acting on a hunch, Low Light started searching the trash bins. He found what he was looking for in the third one. His old uniform. 

He looked at the uniform. He put his fingers through the holes in it where he had been shot. _So it was real. All of it!_ He snarled to himself angrily. He remembered everything now. And here was Lifeline grinning from ear to ear like a fool pretending that Low Light had merely done something as stupid as fall down and hit his head. 

Low Light clenched his fists. He decided he didn't want any witnesses when he confronted Lifeline. He just couldn't decide if he was going to shoot him or ring his neck.

He picked his moment carefully. He waited two days before confronting Lifeline. _Give him time to become complacent and then strike!_ He found his moment when he saw Lifeline alone in the locker room. He locked the door behind him so they would not be disturbed. 

Low Light silently stalked Lifeline. He snuck behind him. Lifeline had finished changing into his uniform. He could not control himself any longer. With one swift motion, he slammed Lifeline's locker shut. Lifeline whirled around in suprise. "Low Light? What are you doing? Something wrong?"

Low Light relished the fear in his eyes. "Oh no," He said sarcastically. "I just had a hole in my belly a mile wide but it turned out I had just a headache. You have one hell of an aspirin pal!"

"You remember…" Lifeline's face turned white.

"You bet I remember!" Low Light shoved him and pinned him against the locker. "What did you do to me? Answer me before I stuff what's left of you in the locker! Now!"

"Well," Lifeline replied weakly. "I saved your life."

Low Light could not have been more stunned if Lifeline had clobbered him in the head. He absently let go of Lifeline who immediately sunk down onto the floor. He curled into a sitting fetal position, covering his head. "I'm sorry," Lifeline sobbed, tears flowing freely from his eyes. "I know I shouldn't have tried to cloud your mind like that. It was wrong. But you were hurting so much and I got so scared someone would find out about how I saved you and I just didn't want anyone to know. I really thought I was doing the right thing at the time. I never did anything like that before I swear! But I was just so scared and desperate; I had to try it! I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. I'm sorry!" 

Low Light backed away, stunned. He had never felt so ashamed in his life. _Way to go Cooper, _He thought. _This guy puts his life on the line, puts you ahead of himself to save your sorry behind- risks exposure to god knows what and how do you thank him? You threaten to beat him up! You are such a jerk!_

Lifeline wept openly, ashamed of himself. "Low Light please forgive me. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just…"

"Hey um…" Low Light interrupted, feeling very uncomfortable. He knelt down. "Um…Okay. I got a bit carried away. It's okay. I won't hurt you. Are you some kind of mutant?"

"Technically no," Lifeline pulled himself together.

"Technically?" Low Light asked. "What does that mean?"

"There's a gene called the X-Gene. Mutants have it. But I don't," Lifeline explained. "I tested myself. There's something…different about me. But I have no idea what it is. I really have no idea what I am."

"What exactly did you do?" Low Light sat down next to him. 

"I have healing abilities," Lifeline explained. "And some mild telepathy, but I can only touch minds when I heal someone. I try not to use it too much. Only in life and death situations."

"How did you…?" Low Light asked.

"Find out I was different?" Lifeline replied. He collected himself. "Promise you won't tell anyone?"

"Yeah. I promise," Low Light said. 

"I was eight years old," Lifeline started. "I saw this bird being mauled by a cat. Somehow I shooed it away. It was almost dead. I remember holding it and wishing it would live. I felt this warm glow all around me. The next thing I knew the bird was healthy again and it flew away. My father saw the whole thing. He was shocked. He gripped me by the shoulders and told me I was to never tell anyone what had happened."

"For a while it was like nothing had happened. But there was a change in my father. At first, he avoided me. Little things, like he stopped making eye contact with me. He didn't hug me anymore or do things with me. For about a year nothing happened. Then one of the parishioners got really sick. My father told me to come to the house with him. I remember how thin and pale she looked. She was old and frail. My father told me to lay my hands on her. At first I was too afraid too, but one look from him forced me into submission. My father is a very intimidating man. I did what he wanted. I felt that glow again. Only this time I could hear her thoughts as well. She was frightened. She didn't want to die. I made her well."

"My father called it a miracle of God. That was when he started planning for my future. Ever since I was little he wanted me to be a preacher. But then it got worse. I remember the countless weekends he kept me locked in that house when I wanted to go outside with my friends and play. For hours and hours he forced me to read the Scripture or listen to his lectures on how it was my duty to work for the Lord. To be his no…My father's instrument in the war against evil. He didn't care what I wanted. I was his pawn. His puppet. Something inside me knew that. Despite being kept awake for days at a time, I managed to find the strength to resist him."

"I remember the day I told him that I wanted to become a medic. He screamed at me telling me that I was God's instrument and that I was bound on a path that could not be denied. I didn't want that! I tried to tell him that I didn't want to become a faith healer. It felt so wrong to me. Like I was going to be used. This wasn't what God had in mind for me to do. I knew his path was not mine. I stood up to him. He hit me. He never hit me before. I thought he was going to kill me with that look in his eye. The things he said…I believed he would have. I ran away. I was seventeen. I made it to a friend's house and I stayed with his family for a while until I graduated and got a job with the Seattle paramedic unit. I put myself through Med School on a couple of scholarships and working various jobs. The rest is simple. I joined up with the Joes when Hawk recruited me."

They sat together on the floor saying nothing. Low Light felt a familiar ache inside of him. He knew what it was. He had been living with it his entire life. The pain of abuse and isolation. And so had Lifeline. Funny, he never imagined that the gentle smiling medic carried such pain. In a way, Lifeline had had the same kind of torture in his childhood as he had. Only his was much more mental than physical. Somehow, Lifeline had handled it much better than he had. Low Light had to admire him for that. 

Lifeline rested his head on his knees. "My father has never forgiven me for not following the path he set out for me," A tear slipped from his eye. "I love him so much, but I'm not what he wants me to be. I can only be myself. Why can't he understand that?"

"I dunno. I had a similar problem with my dad, so I know where you're coming from. Does anybody else know about this?" Low Light asked. 

"Doc and Bree," Lifeline said. "They promised not to tell anyone. With Bree I thought it was only fair that she let herself know what she was in for. She thinks it's wonderful. Doc caught me doing it, but he's kept my secret. He's even trying to secretly help me find out why I am…the way I am. I guess I've always been, ashamed of it. A little. Sometimes I wonder if I'm as good a medic without it."

"Hey," Low Light said. "Truth is, I always thought you were a great medic. And you have a lot more guts than half the Joes on the force. Running around on a battlefield without a weapon you have to! Look, I'll make a deal. I won't tell if you don't tell anyone about me crying in my underwear! I have a reputation to uphold."

"That's another reason why I invented the head wound story," Lifeline sighed. "I told them you slipped and fell over a dead Cobra so that they wouldn't question the blood on your uniform. Believe me that was not exactly a thrill for me either! But I had to get to the wound. You were a mess." 

"I still can't get that you'd take such a risk," Low Light shook his head.

"I couldn't let you die," Lifeline said simply. "Besides, we're friends. Sort of."

"Yeah well," Low Light stood up. "Thanks, for …you know saving my life."

"It's nothing, really," Lifeline sighed, still sitting on the floor. "It's my job."

"Some job," Low Light sighed. "Look um…I'm not good at this…talking…I mean. I never had too many friends. I don't…have that ability. I've always kept my distance…and."

"You don't have to say it," Lifeline shook his head. "I know."

"No, no I do," Low Light flustered. "You told me your secret and the least I can do is say...You're a decent guy Lifeline. I'd like to be…friends. I don't mean the other sort of friends. I mean I'm straight and you're straight and …oh brother. I do not like talking about stuff like this! I don't go for that emotional touchy-feely crap!"

"You want to be buddies," Lifeline smiled. "I'd like that. It would be nice."

"Yeah well," Low Light sighed as he extended a hand to help Lifeline up. He took it. Low Light playfully shoved him. "Look just promise me you won't try to cloud anyone else's mind again! Okay? Or I'll kick your butt."

"I didn't like doing that anyway. Believe me, it made me feel sick inside. I won't do it again. I promise." 

"Yeah well…see ya around," Low Light left the room. Lifeline looked after him. He felt like he had found a kindred spirit. Someone who knew what it was like to be alone. 

"See ya buddy," Lifeline said. 


End file.
